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Your bedroom should be your sanctuary. You have to be deliberate and make the decision to change it into your play space so that you can get the best out of your time together. Below are some steps you can take to turn your bedroom into your play space.

1. Kick The Kids Out

Kids will always keep you from turning your bedroom into your play space.  If you have kids of a certain age, you know that they are demanding. 

Kids always want to be around their parents.  Some kids even sleep in the same bed as their parents. 

As a sexual human being, nothing will kill your mood like having your kids in your personal space.  Your bedroom needs to be your sanctuary. 

It needs to be the place where you and your partner feel free to express yourselves and your erotic desire. 

To turn your bedroom into your play space, you need to make sure that your children know that it is off limits to them.  It does not mean that they can’t come in there to talk to you, but they need to know that at a certain point they need to exit. 

If you have young children, you need to keep them out of your bedroom as much as possible.  Young children are intrusive and have little sense of boundaries. 

If you care about keeping your erotic heat aflame, the kids need to know that this is one space that they cannot infiltrate. 

It also creates a sense of self-sufficiency in the children.  By creating the boundaries, your kids know that you are around and love them, but that you are still an adult with a life that is separate from theirs. 

Love your kids, but keep them out of your bedroom if you want to maintain a hot sex life.  See Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Boundaries for some ideas on why and how to set boundaries.

2. Leave the Phone Out

There is a time and place for your phone.  We live in a society where we are always on our phones. 

Every single one of us, in one way or another is attached to our phones.  I won’t even pretend that I don’t pick up my phone way too much. 

But your phone is going to sap the sexiness right out of your life.  We spend too much time ignoring our partners when we get caught up in what is going on on our phones and our social media pages. 

Leaving your phone out of the bedroom is one of the best ways to turn your bedroom into your play space.  There is no reason for anyone to call you late at night. 

Therefore, there is no reason to keep your phone in your bedroom.  Your sacred erotic space needs to be important enough to keep useless distractions away. 

Many people like to flick through their phones right before bed.  This serves no purpose. 

Science has shown that screen time before bed delays your ability to fall asleep fast.  It also delays your quality of sleep.  Screen time before bed is also a good way to make sure that you and your partner aren’t connected. 

Why would you want to be on your phone when you’re in bed if your partner is next to you.  Instead of flicking through useless cat videos, you’re better off talking with your partner and flicking them on. 

You’re better off embracing one another.  Turn your bedroom into your play space by removing the temptation that is your phone. 

You don’t need the dopamine hit from your phone.  Get that hit from your interaction with your partner.

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3. Leave the Television Out

Another bad habit that seems to be a staple in American life is the phenomenon of the television in the bedroom. 

Whoever thought this was a good idea? To start off, most of us watch way too much television.  We have become obsessed with the bullshit that is fed to us on TV. 

You have no control over your own decision-making if you are constantly tuning in when the programmers want you to. 

The bedroom needs to serve as few purposes as possible.  It is where you lay your head at night.  You have to be the one to turn your bedroom into your play space. 

My general rule is that the bedroom is only for sleeping and having sex.  You make love in bed, and you dream in bed. 

Sure there may be other associative activities, but at the core, sleeping and making love are the two things you should be doing in your bedroom.  You may have seen your parents watch television in their rooms. 

This does not mean that watching television in the bedroom is a good practice.  In fact, if you have children, you should make sure that they do not have a television in their bedrooms. 

Watching television in the bedroom will create distance between you and your partner. 

Sure, you may sit next to one another as you watch a show together, but sitting next to each other is not the same as being with each other.  The television takes you away to a different place. 

It creates a fantasy where none of your usual worries are important.  But I say if you are going to fantasize, you should be doing it with your significant other.

4. Don’t Read in Bed

When talking about how to turn your bedroom into your play space, it is inevitable to reach the fact that many people like to read in bed. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with reading before bed.  But remember, our goal is to keep your erotic flame alive.  We want you and your partner to interact as much as possible. 

Beyond that, whether we know it or not, our bodies have a habit of training themselves.  The more you read before bed, the more you signal to your body that it is not time to sleep. 

Reading requires engagement otherwise it is simply browsing.  If you want to create a routine for yourself before bed, it is much better to talk and embrace with your partner. 

Hell, have sex with your partner before bed as your routine.  Your bedroom needs to be an eroticized environment. 

You have to be able to let go and surrender to your carnal desires.  If you constantly allow other activities to take place in your bedroom, it will be hard to maintain it as an erotic space. 

Relegate your nightly reading to a neutral space like your living room or your den if you have one. 

The path to turn your bedroom into your play space will benefit greatly from you realizing that compartmentalizing is necessary. 

5. Always Change the Sheets

This should not be a surprise at all.  You need to change your sheets, often. 

Hopefully, you’re changing your sheets because you’re busy getting your freak on. 

But I understand that may not always be the case.  That’s why we are talking about ways to turn your bedroom into your play space. 

What I mean is that you have to change your sheets to something a little more exciting. 

Maybe you like 300 thread Egyptian cotton.  Maybe satin is more your taste.  The fact is that little changes can have a great effect on your sex life. 

If you and your partner are always using the same lame sheets you’ve had for years, you need to change it.  Change it often. 

Bring in something different.  Take the lead and surprise your partner.  Maybe buy waterproof sheets like the Liberator Fascinator Throw Moisture Proof Blanket, which I personally love. 

There are no hard-coded rules.  It is in the places you least expect that you will find something to spark your fire.

6. Put in a Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall…okay, sorry, had to do that. 

How does adding a mirror to your room turn your bedroom into your play space?

Because humans love themselves.  

Even people, who are shy, love to see themselves.  We may not always be happy with the way we look, but the mirror is not necessarily for your day-to-day check in the mirror before you run out of the house. 

When you’re having sex, you don’t tend to worry too much about what you look like.  If you are being present in your activity, you shouldn’t be too worried about what your body looks like. 

The point of adding the mirror is so that you see what you look like in your carnal glory. 

Whatever position you may be in at the moment, there is something exciting about looking over and seeing yourself.  Some people even find it enthralling to watch their partner when making love. 

The mirror magnifies your beautiful body.  It is true that this requires a considerable amount of confidence.  Some people have been so conditioned that they believe they are not good enough or good looking enough. 

However, when you are with your partner, you must trust that he or she finds you attractive. 

They would not be there with you, rubbing bodies together and releasing all their essence if they did not find you attractive. 

Don’t overthink things and put a mirror in your room to turn your bedroom into your play space.

7. Get a Key For Your Night Table

oooooohhh…so you just bought a decadently satisfying new toy at the sex shop.  Maybe, you had Amazon deliver it to your house in a non-descript package. 

No one knows about what you are into but your partner.  You’re going to surprise your partner with the introduction of this new toy, and you can’t wait. 

The problem, is that everyone in the house has access to your bedroom.  You always put your toys in the drawer of your night table. 

How long before one of your children or a nosy family member goes through your drawers and finds your exciting new toy?  This scenario is not so much fantasy as it is reality. 

You need to get a key for your night table.  By this I mean you need to buy a night table that has a key. 

There is no reason why anyone should be going through your drawers, that is a fact. 

We’re trying to turn your bedroom into your play space, so hopefully you will exert as much energy as possible to set boundaries in your house so that others know not to come into your bedroom. 

However, that may not always be the case.  If you have kids, you know that they are very inquisitive. 

Having a key is a safety measure to make sure that you don’t find yourself in a situation where you have to explain to young children what a vibrator is.

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8. Don’t Fight in Your Bedroom

If you really want to turn your bedroom into your play space, you have to make sure you leave out as much negative energy as possible. 

Couples fight.  Anyone who has ever given of himself or herself in a relationship, know that fighting will happen. 

Fighting is actually a good sign.  It shows that you are both fully invested.  When couples don’t fight, it usually means that they are very young and lack the confidence to speak up for themselves or, they have fully checked out of the relationship. 

There are few places available for couples to fight.  Most couples end up fighting in their bedroom.  This is a mistake. 

Our goal should be to build up as much erotic energy as possible so that our unions can last.  You have to make your bedroom the one place where you refuse to have an argument. 

It is better to take your fights elsewhere.  If you have a basement, have your fights down there.  Or go to your backyard. 

Take all the negative energy out of your bedroom so that you don’t condition yourself to the negativity.  Your relationship will improve the more positive you make your sacred space. 

Fight so that you can resolve your issues, but don’t do it in the same place where you make love to one another.  Read Esther Perel’s wonderful book Mating in Captivity to get some ideas as to why we get into the fights we get into.

9. Be Naked as Much as Possible

Being naked is one of my favorite things.  I know that some people have a hard time being naked in front of someone else. 

It can be a bit daunting to be so vulnerable in front of another human being.  Our internal dialog always seems to be trying to do us in as much as possible.  But you should be naked around one another as much as possible. 

There should be no limits between you and your partner in your bedroom.  By being naked around each other often, you start to break down the awkwardness of nudity. 

A lot of couples don’t change in front of one another.  How can you not change in front of the same person you have sex with?  Your body should not be a secret. 

Embrace your body and your partner will embrace it as well.  Hide your body, and your partner will sense the awkwardness. 

Self-love is hard to come by for some of us.  But one of the best ways to turn your bedroom into your play space is to be naked in your bedroom. 

Set yourself free.  Let your partner see you.  The more your partner sees you naked, the more he or she will be reminded of what a treasure you are. 

Your nudity will also serve the purpose of getting your partner’s juices flowing.  You remember what it was like when you first started dating. 

All the energy flowing between you and your partner.  You couldn’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off. 

As relationships progress, we tend to back away from ripping one another’s clothes off.  We have to bring that back, and being naked often is one step in the right direction.

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10. Change Your Decorations From Time to Time

This suggestion is very much in the same vein as the bed sheets.  Ambiance, is a word we don’t always think of when we think about the bedroom. 

Most people will spend countless amounts of money and time in making sure their living rooms and kitchens are exactly the way they want them. 

Yet people will not spend as much time making sure that their bedrooms are in top shape.  Your bedroom needs to be your sanctuary. 

It needs to be full of sexy energy.  You should wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and opening your eyes to beauty of all kind. 

If you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time and you live together, you know that people rarely make changes in their bedrooms. 

But it would be beneficial to change things around from time to time.  Spice things up by bringing in art pieces that are completely opposite to what you usually like. 

Let the light in.  Change your colors from time to time so that you can get a different energy in your bedroom.  Relationships are hard work. 

So you should make changes that will enliven your life.  Fresh ideas make for exciting times.

11. Linger in Bed More Often

I love to sleep.  If you don’t have to get up early in the morning, you should take advantage and linger in bed. 

When you turn your bedroom into your play space, you should try to spend as much time in it as you possibly can with your significant other. 

There is no need to rush out of bed in the morning.  We get so used to our routines that even on weekends, we rush out of bed. 

Stop stacking every single minute of your life with things to do.  Most of the time, all the things that you think you have to do, can really wait. 

If you are like most typical adults, especially if you have children, you usually have a lot going on.  So take the moment to linger in bed with your partner and simply enjoy one another. 

Enjoy your partner’s scent.  Breathe in her essence.  Nuzzle in his body and just lay there with one another.  Touch each other’s bodies. 

Tease each other.  Take the time to connect with each other in the morning before you run out to do things that don’t necessarily bring value to your life. 

On the weekends, don’t set an alarm.  Let the morning sun be your wake up call.  Your kids can wait for their breakfast. 

It will not kill them to eat breakfast a little later than they’re used to.  It is important to connect with your partner in your play space. 

This is about the two of you and what you mean to each other.  So take your time and revel in each other’s presence.

12. Go to Bed at the Same Time

This is the one thing that I need to work on.  Sometimes it can seem as if we are living two different lives but in the same space. 

If you are going to turn your bedroom into your play space, you have to make sure that you are together as much as possible. 

One of the biggest mistakes that couples make is go to bed at separate times.  Maybe you like to finish things for work before bed. 

Perhaps you like watching a show that your partner is not really into before you go to sleep.  Don’t find excuses as to why you can’t go to bed at the same time as your partner. 

Going to bed together has several benefits.  It creates more quality time with your partner. 

You get to talk to one another without the distractions of your daily life.  Going to bed together creates a rhythm for your life together. 

It also creates opportunities for you and your partner to have sex.  The more you sleep together, the more opportunities you are going to find to have sex with your partner. 

We’ve all been in situations where we are rolling around in bed talking with our significant other and suddenly we find our erotic heat rising to the point where we can barely control ourselves. 

This can only happen if you are both in the bed together.  If one person is in bed at 10 pm but the other doesn’t come to bed until 2 am, then there will be little opportunity for sexual energy to be fed on. 

I know for certain I don’t want my partner coming into bed at 2 in the morning and waking me up.

13. Entice Each Other and Have Fun

Flirt with your partner as much as possible, and as often as possible.  Everyone wants to feel wanted. 

We all want to know that our partner still wants us and finds us sexy.  This goes for both men and women. 

Men don’t often hear about how sexy they are.  Women on the other hand are used to men telling them how attractive they are. 

When you find yourself in the bedroom getting ready to go out, don’t hesitate to tease your partner. 

Let them know that you are thinking about them and that you can’t wait to rip their clothes off. 

Life will always come in the way if you don’t put in the necessary energy to light your partner’s fire.  Be as expressive as possible. 

Don’t hide yourself from your mate.  For some people, the bedroom is the optimal space for sex, love and all associated activities. 

Entice one another.  Once you have set the boundaries for your family and anyone else living in your house, allow your bedroom to be the place where you can truly let go.